“Sometimes disappointments leads us to our destination. Trust the journey, even when you don’t understand.”
-Kim Banwell @kimrbanwell
In my personal and professional careers/life I hardly ever get angry only because I can normally “woosah” my way through anger. And it normally doesn’t last long. However, my disappointment that I have regarding a situation or person can linger… until I find that pivotal point where they have finally shown me through action , that they have changed, or for that matter shown me that there is nothing more to expect; they already showed me who they really are.
Although, I have found through open communication with the person that I believe caused the disappointment it allows us to grow and fully learn one another. I chose this topic because over the past week or more I have endured a lot of disappointments, and the crazy part was these disappointments were rather blind-siding. However, I had been here before, and I saw how it benefited the professional and personal relationships were able to grow and cultivate.
So, contrary to what some may think or feel. Disappointments can bring some great things to the forefront. For instance,:
1. Passion…: Deeply rooted there is something there that has caused you to even show or feel this disappointment. Disappointment doesn’t occur just because you’re in the moment, there is a reason you feel this, because somehow or someway you are connected. Disappointment is actually a form of pain. Look at it this way “something occurred…” therefore, this is “why you feel this way.” Keep in mind that so much can come out of the fact that the passion you have for this “something” will drive you to recognize your emotions and feel them; be it good, bad, or ugly. And while some may think that feeling disappointed is not a feeling. It actually puts you in touch with your inner self.
2. Opportunity…: I have found that anytime I have every felt disappointed it has caused me to re-evaluate the part I played in the event. It always felt like something was off in the Matrix.
I had a conversation one time with one of my direct reports. And the issue he/she was not understanding was the clear expectation that he/she placed on one of her directives. And this made the situation very hazy, because there was lack of understanding on him/her and that associate. And the one thing I said was “ the expectation that you have placed on this person has caused you to become disappointed.” And it was as if that “AH-Huh” moment happened.
There is was! It was...IT just happened. Growth! Has officially occured. Keep in mind that expectations are what we place on everything, and when the expectation isn’t met, that when the Matrix is usually thrown off, and you are able to see the glitches.
As a consultant in my current field. I try to ensure that we “triage” issues prior to sending to our IT department to assess, test, send to developers, and programmers. Because, if this one step isn’t completed it causes our IT side to have to work harder to waste time. If we use disappointment to understand more about the world and to correct the initial assumptions, we can and will become more knowledgeable and wiser. And not to mention the biggest outcome; to correct your actions to achieve a better goal or goals.
3. Thanks for making me…: “A fighter” This song immediately came to mind when I was writing #3. Why? Because, this truly makes me think of strength and becoming stronger. Processing emotions can be draining for some. I think that I have learned how to handle some, not all, emotions in order to be able to move, navigate, and stay professional in all that I do.
Sometimes in my personal life I have found that I will suppress a feeling or emotion in order to ensure I don’t hurt someone's feelings, when at times I have learned that can be the worst thing you can do. Because, the behavior continues, and you become increasingly aggravated (not good for a VIRGO!).
Disappointment can allow you to become more resilient when life’s hardships occur. And this goes back to growth. This will not block the fact that you have emotions, however, it will allow you to process better.
“Find your Project to be Purposeful and then make your Passion your business.”